just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
