I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
