I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
