His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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