Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
