his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
