My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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