Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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