You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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