just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
