I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
