stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize