no, he came in my armpit
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
