Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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