RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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