how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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