cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Your cock deserves a montage
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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