In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize