Define "chronic" masturbator.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
