mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
