hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
