it's not cheating when I paid for it
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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