The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
