do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
