Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
