The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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