He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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