hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
