you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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