just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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