Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
