So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
