dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
