question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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