Christians are straight up FREAKS
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize