She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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