We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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