Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize