Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
