Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
