Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize