when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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