We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
