just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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