Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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