i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
