So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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