Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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