can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
