But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
