i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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