my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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