question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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