god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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