I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
me + whiskey = a bad person
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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