the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
