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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
