You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
