we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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