Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
